I hope someone is listening!
It has been a month now since my daughter was killed in a one car accident on I65 outside of Nashville, TN, on her way home to her children. She had been out of town for a few days with her fiancé attending his Sons’ Graduation from Military School.They had driven for ten hours and it was about 4 a.m. when it happened. It is an old story, and it happens everyday to someone’s child. I am not special and so on that fateful day I lost my baby girl. I won’t bore you with the details. That story is posted HERE.
My Daughter had serious depression and anxiety problems and was never able to get the right doctor to treat her illness…moreover, she was tired of trying to. She had been self medicating for years with street drugs. The problem was that the drugs that she ended up using only exasperated the problem. It was not feasible that her drug use would help the problem…it only made it worse.What started as a “pain pill” problem after being prescribed opiates by a doctor for chronic pain, which she indeed had, ended up being a cocaine, meth and possibly a heroin addiction for which she then decided to self medicate with buprenorphine which she also obtained “off the street”.
I begged her a number of times to get help but there was no real help. She refused to use Cannabis because of drug testing – first she was scared of CPS drug testing, then she needed to test clean for a job (which she could never hold onto). She was scared of losing her children because of a positive THC test. The “other stuff” you can get out of your system quicker, she had told me. Well, that’s just fucking great. Now she is dead.
Her medical history is about as difficult as mine is. It suffices to say that chronic debilitating pain especially when you throw that on top of a mental illness such as we have, Chronic Major Depression and chronic anxiety, that is enough to cause you to look anywhere for some kind of relief. It is only human nature that if you are in pain, mental or physical, to try and find some way to get out of it! In this World you do not have time to sit down and be ill or in pain. There are bills to pay and kids to feed and nobody cares if you are sick. We are slaves to the system.
I had begged her to come home a number of times. But at 34 years old I suppose that she needed her own space. She worked hard at anything she could do to make a little money to keep going. The drugs kept her going physically, until they took her down. And when it finally did take her down that last time as she was driving down I65, she left behind three Son’s and a family who loved her so much words can do no justice.
The buprenorphine was the beginning of the end for her. I watched while she slowly disintegrated….and that was what it was like…watching something disintegrate before your eyes and not being able to stop it. Because she was so good at hiding what she was doing, I never really knew what drugs she was on at what time, with the exception of the Buprenorphine which she told me about.. The past few years the boys had been with me a lot of the time. She just could not handle the stress of “trying to find money to live on” and taking care of kids at the same time. She was totally dysfunctional. Totally depressed and anxietized. The only thing I could think of was to get her off the drugs which was impossible to do especially when she wouldn’t use Cannabis.
She was scared. She also had some idea that she was going to die young. The past 6-8 months she spent getting all her paperwork in order and labeled accordingly so that when the time came we could find what we needed. God Bless Her.I’ve never seen so much OCD in organization before. She had spent hours labeling folders and had everything neatly packed in boxes. Everything since 1999 when she lost her first child as a stillborn – back before she EVER thought about using any kind of drugs. She was completely drug free for the pregnancy and births of all of her children.
She got caught up in the drug war. And it ended up killing her.If she had used Cannabis instead of all of the other drugs she did, she may very well be alive today. She fell asleep while driving and went off the road – while taking buprenorphine – because she was afraid to use Cannabis.
Drug testing is the single most deadly weapon used by Government and law enforcement to trap people. It is the cause of many death’s via drug use, which it was intended to prevent. “Spice” is a good example of this as many people have died from using it because it was a Cannabis “substitute” and it normally does not show up on drug testing. It is called “probation weed” down here in Kentucky.
Drug testing only invades our privacy and sets us up for failure. Drug testing does not prevent nor treat drug abuse. Drug testing is just another way to to seize money via commerce. Just think of all of the money that is involved in drug testing. Manfred Donike would be proud – I suppose.
The regulation and legalities surrounding the use of drugs and plants have been the trap that has incarcerated so many innocent people, ruined so many people’s lives and is responsible for many, many death’s in this war. It IS a war.
Legalize, Tax and Regulate Cannabis is not an option if you want to regain your freedom. It is just another avenue for the Government to grow their control over the people. A way to give some of us what we want while still maintaining their “complexes” of control via the Controlled Substance Act, These controls keep the medical/pharmaceutical industrial complex, the military/police force industrial complex, the agricultural industrial complex, the private prison industry, the “child protection” industry and more running at high speed, and commerce and taxation flows appropriately, under Government control, to keep it going in the right direction to feed the very industries that control our every move – including the use of Cannabis both medically and recreationally.
If you think that the prison population was high (no pun intended) before “legalization”, just wait until it is “legalized, taxed and regulated”.
The only way to lift this burden is to REPEAL all statutes, regulations and control of the personal use of plants…period, from the United Nation’s Treaties and Agenda 21/30, on down through each Country’s own Constitution. The only “drugs” which need regulation are those which are created by the pharmaceutical industry itself. This would include Cannabis based medicines when they are created and sold by pharmaceutical industries or in dispensaries. The plants in your yard for your own personal use should never be subjected to any kind of “legislation”.
It suffices to say that in this war a lot of us, including myself, will be raising our Grandchildren. And a lot of us are unable to do so, which leaves many children to the claws of the Government. My daughter was a good Mother – just ask her children. They are the ones that ha
ve lost the most – their Mother. She loved her boys to no end. She did the best that she could do. It is up to us to continue on and try to rectify the evil that she succumb to.